


Raise Your Glass

by JehBeeEh



Series: Ahead by a Century [49]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Anxiety, Awesome Pool Floaties, Birthdays, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Good Husband Tony Stark, Grief, M/M, Steve Rogers Feels, Swimming Pools, getaways, tequila shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:47:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25120360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JehBeeEh/pseuds/JehBeeEh
Summary: They had been in the kitchen on a Wednesday morning, waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing when Tony had suggested getting away for the upcoming long weekend.“You don’t have to decide now – heck, you can tell me the morning of. But if you’re interested, we can easily take off. Just you and me. Or we can invite our friends if you want. Go to our place in the Hamptons. Wherever you want, really. The world is our oyster. Say the word, ‘kay?”Steve had just nodded, mulling over the idea. Getting away with his husband was always tempting, and gosh was Steve ever grateful that they had the flexibility to do it whenever they wanted – barring important meetings or SI launches. Things were quiet for both of them right now, so the timing would be perfect.“That sounds like a great idea,” Steve had chimed in as the coffee maker beeped.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Ahead by a Century [49]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1514069
Comments: 24
Kudos: 123





	Raise Your Glass

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm here, and I did not forget about this. The longer it took me to get to it, the more intimidated I felt about writing another chapter. Eek!
> 
> But, here we are, and it was just Steve's birthday, and while I floated around in a Cap Shield floatie (which you may recognize somewhere in here...) the idea formed more and more in my head, and a little fic that was supposed to be posted Saturday, turned into all of this.
> 
> As you may remember from earlier parts, Steve's mom passed away on his birthday too, so there are mentions of grieving along with some anxiety about Steve's feelings. It is still a pretty fluffy fic, but keep that in mind if that is something that might be sensitive for you (and all the hugs in the world!!!!). 
> 
> So, here you go! Enjoy the Hamptons ;)

They had been in the kitchen on a Wednesday morning, waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing when Tony had suggested getting away for the upcoming long weekend.

“You don’t have to decide now – heck, you can tell me the morning of. But if you’re interested, we can easily take off. Just you and me. Or we can invite our friends if you want. Go to our place in the Hamptons. Wherever you want, really. The world is our oyster. Say the word, ‘kay?”

Steve had just nodded, mulling over the idea. Getting away with his husband was always tempting, and gosh was Steve ever grateful that they had the flexibility to do it whenever they wanted – barring important meetings or SI launches. Things were quiet for both of them right now, so the timing would be perfect.

“That sounds like a great idea,” Steve had chimed in as the coffee maker beeped. “We can see what we want to do next week?”

As said long weekend got closer though, he could feel his anxiety rising. And the more he tried to subdue it, the worse it got. Tony had noticed and tried to make things as stress free as he could for him at home. He helped wherever he could, doing more things solo so Steve could rest or just not feel pressured into having to worry about more than he already had on his mind. Any small or big thing, if it meant one less thing for his sweet husband to have on his overcrowded mind.

Tony had come home from work a week later to find Steve napping on the couch, the sight bringing a smile to his face, and yet a pang of sadness too. He knew his husband hadn’t been sleeping properly and it was catching up to him. All he wanted was to make him feel better, calm his mind, soothe his heart.

He walked towards him, crouching down by the couch next to where he lay. Steve’s sprawled figure was quite the vision. He was wearing shorts and a thin long sleeve shirt, long legs fully stretched out, one slightly bent to the point of almost falling off the couch. One arm was tucked behind his head and the other was on his stomach, tugging up his shirt – which was riding up just enough to reveal a patch of creamy skin and abs. Tony couldn’t resist running a hand through Steve’s hair, which made him stir and turn towards the contact of Tony’s hand.

“Shh,” Tony cajoled him softly, placing his lips to Steve’s forehead. “Sleep, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to wake you. It’s okay.”

Steve hummed quietly; his eyes still closed. “Time is it?”

“Just past 4:30.”

Steve swore and stretched lazily. He opened his eyes, getting his bearings before settling on his husband. “How was work?”

Tony shrugged. “Was okay. Pretty quiet, lots of folks took the week off, so Pepper and I just went over some of the financial stuff and what’s coming up. All the boring things I hate. How are you feeling?”

“Bit better? I dunno.” Steve frowned. “I hate feeling this way.”

“I know you do, babe.” Tony kissed his forehead again.

Steve sat himself up on the couch, Tony joining him, sitting himself sideways, so he could look at Steve, one arm perched on the back of the couch.

“Why did you get flowers?” Steve asked as he noticed the bouquet on the table.

“Wanted to make you smile,” Tony answered simply. “And, we’ve been married 6 months. Felt like it deserved flowers.”

“I’m so sorry, I forgot-“

“Nope, you don’t need to apologize. Not now,” Tony cut him off, shuffling closer to Steve so he could wrap his arms around him.

“I hate that my brain is worrying about how I’ll possibly react to something that isn’t even here yet. And how it’s affecting everything around me.” Steve let himself fall sideways against Tony, his head resting on his shoulder. “I don’t know how to stop it from happening, I’m trying what my therapist suggested but it’s just not doing anything, and it’s just this crazy, vicious circle.”

They sat quietly for a few minutes, Tony rubbing long lines against Steve’s arm with one hand, while the other played with the short hair on the back of his neck. Again, he wished he could take all the pain and anxiety away from Steve, make him feel happy.

“Can we go?” Steve’s voice was so quiet and breathless that Tony almost didn’t catch it.

“We can go wherever you want,” Tony answered back just as softly. He pressed his lips to Steve’s hair when he felt Steve take in a shaky breath in his arms.

“Can we still go to the Hamptons?”

“Absolutely.”

“Tomorrow?”

“We can leave right now if you want.”

“Need to grab a few things from the office first. Do you mind if I set up a spot to paint over there?”

Tony laughed softly. “It’s as much yours as it is mine. You can do whatever you want there.” Steve hummed in answer, and Tony couldn’t help but wonder. “If you want, you can even go alone, you know. If that’s what you need right now, it’s totally fine, sweetheart. I feel like my suggesting we get out of the city may have started this.”

“No. It wasn’t you at all. I loved the idea of getting away, and I don’t want to go alone. Unless you’re really tired of mopey me, which I wouldn’t blame you for. You’ve been the only thing keeping me sane the past few days. I can’t promise much will change when we get there, though. But right now, I just want to be alone with you somewhere that isn’t here.”

“I’ll get Happy to bring the SUV over in the morning, we can leave whenever you want.”

Steve pushed himself off Tony’s shoulder, moving his head to the back of the couch so he could look at his husband. “Love you, you know.”

“Me too.”

* * *

“Honey, we’re home,” Tony announced, as he pulled into the driveway of the Hamptons home the next day.

They’d left early enough to make the two-hour drive with little issues, and it was still early for the throngs of New Yorkers that would soon be making the same trek for the long weekend. Even with stops at Steve’s office, and for some much-needed caffeine, they made it there before lunch.

Steve gaped at the structure before him, having been not quite sure what to expect. It was hidden from the road behind a number of large, mature trees, making it seem secluded even in the more populated neighborhood where it was located. The house itself was stunning. All dark wood where there weren’t large windows. It wasn’t overly big compared to some of the houses Tony had pointed out along the way, but still large enough that Steve did not want to imagine the price tag it had come with.

“Tony, this place… Wow!”

Tony didn’t reply, just getting out of the car, and gesturing for Steve to do the same. He stepped out of the vehicle, looking around in awe at the immaculate property. He felt Tony’s hand slip in his and followed easily when Tony pulled him towards the front door. The inside was even more spectacular than the exterior. It reminded Steve of their Brooklyn home – a perfect mix of modern and rustic elements, crisp whites with dark accents, and splashes of colour strewn about. And artwork that made Steve drool.

Tony just laughed as he pulled a speechless Steve through the home, pointing out the various bedrooms and entertainment area, a full gym and bar in the finished basement, and even a massage room.

“It came with the house, and I was too lazy to convert it to anything else when we did the reno,” Tony offered as an explanation.

The backyard was the true crown jewel of the property, though. A large pool and hot tub, surrounded by luscious greenery and impeccable landscaping, took up most of the yard, but the patio area was made for entertaining, with a BBQ the size of their kitchen island, a large table that could easily seat all their friends and more, and outdoor seating framing a gas fire pit. Beyond the pool was patch of lawn and green space where Steve could easily imagine a swing set and enough space to run around playing catch or soccer in a few years.

“There’s some kayaks on the side of the house too, and we have access to the ponds I showed you on both sides of the road as we drove up? And the beach is a 10-minute walk too, so super close.”

Steve had been silent the whole tour, only questioning the massage room with a laugh. Tony looked at him expectantly for a minute before going on.

“I know it’s kind of crazy, but it’s the least ostentatious place that was on the market when I was looking. We can redecorate anything you want. Heck, we can sell it and find something else, maybe right on the beach, I don’t care-“

“It’s so perfect, Tony,” Steve finally interjected. “I love it. It’s the perfect size, and this yard. Everything about this place is… perfect! I love everything about it.”

“Oh good! Cause Jillian might kill me since we redid the whole place last summer.”

Steve laughed, remembering how their designer had made Tony promise to stop moving and redecorating for a bit so she could focus on her own projects. “That why you didn’t mention it back then?”

“Yeah, it was under construction most of the time, and we were still so new at the whole dating thing… it felt a bit douchey to bring up this place.”

Steve smiled playfully. “As opposed to the Malibu beach mansion and the villas in Italy?”

Tony draped his arms over Steve’s shoulders. “I never said my reasoning was sound, dear.”

“Well, I’m happy we’re here now. Thank you,” Steve said, letting his hands rest on Tony’s hips, his thumbs roaming under the hem of Tony’s t-shirt. “How about we empty the car, have lunch and then make use of that pool?”

“That sounds like the perfect plan.”

* * *

Before they knew it, it was Saturday. Steve had no idea what time it was, or how long he’d been floating around the pool for, and he frankly didn’t care one bit. They’d had a lazy day, much like the week as a whole had been so far.

Steve had found the perfect corner of the den to set up his art supplies in, managing to finish a couple of the commissions he had on file, plus make a piece that was perfect for above the fireplace there. They had spent time outside in the pool, lounging, reading. Steve’s anxiety over all had diminished, even if it didn’t completely leave. Minus one bad anxiety attack when Tony had gotten a text from Rhodey letting him know he was going to be in town and seeing if they wanted to get together for the long week – which had made Steve feel insanely guilty, knowing Tony didn’t get to see Rhodey often – he could say leaving the city for an extra long weekend away had been the right move, and things were more manageable.

He woke up that Saturday morning unsure what to expect, but he’d felt fine. Or no worse than he had over the past week at least. Tony had let him sleep in, which had meant breakfast consisted of Eggos covered in berries and whipped cream forming American flags, which Tony was ridiculously proud of to Steve’s amusement. They’d snuggled on the giant round chaise off the balcony of their bedroom, reading peacefully for a while, Steve curled on Tony’s lap, until Steve got a text from Bucky before lunch wishing him a Happy Birthday. Steve just looked at his phone for a long minute, prompting Tony to ask him if he was okay.

“I am, actually,” Steve had replied, sounding surprised. “I really am.”

Tony smiled down at him before putting his book to the side. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”

“Thanks.” Tony bent down to kiss him, both of them laughing at their awkward position. Steve sat himself, looking at Tony with a smile. “Do you think it’d be okay if we ask our friends to come down this afternoon? I know, the timing is shit with traffic. I think I’d like to see them. Just, low-key dinner, walk to the beach to check out the fireworks? No singing or fussing or anything.”

“Absolutely. Tell Barnes I’ll have one of the cars dropped off for them to drive over here with. I’ll text Pepper and Rhodey.”

Their friends had all confirmed they’d make it, even if Natasha had to be the one to promise Bucky wouldn’t be making a fuss about his birthday. After lunch, Steve had gone out to the pool and after a few laps, decided to utilize the absolutely ridiculous pool floatie Tony had purchased after a passing comment Steve had made on their first day. The next morning 6 different blow-up pool toys had shown up at their door. Steve favoured the large circular disc one adorned with red, white, and blue colouring and a large star in the middle, and that’s where he’d been ever since.

He floated around happily; eyes closed. He vaguely registered the sound of the patio door, and the sound of flip-flops squeaking along the patio stones. He heard water ripple behind him, and he knew Tony had sat down by the pool with his feet dipping in without having to look.

“You should probably flip over before you turn into a half-lobster,” Tony called out to him.

“That’s why I had you put sunscreen on me,” Steve replied, not making any move to turn or even look towards his husband.

“And we all remember how effective that was when we went on our honeymoon. Paddle your way over here, mister.”

Steve chuckled as he finally opened his eyes, locating Tony along the edge of the pool, and kicking his feet to propel him in his direction.

“How do you plan on applying sunscreen when you’re busy having some sexy time with that popsicle, Tony?” Steve quirked an eyebrow playfully as he watched Tony expertly swirl his tongue, lick, and swallow down the red, white, and blue Cyclone, like nothing was amiss.

“Easy,” Tony answered, pulling a bottle from behind his back. “It’s the spray one this time. And, don’t worry, it’s the same SPF 110 you had me apply before. Your pasty white ass will stay the same colour as the rest of you. No tan lines on you.”

Steve finished the trek across the pool, Tony placing his feet on either side of Steve’s head on the floatie to help keep it in place.

“First of all, we cannot all be born with your perfect skin tone. Second, if I remember correctly, you were worshipping my ass last night in bed. Pretty sure at some point you called it America’s ass while you were fucking me.”

Tony snickered at his husband. “Snarky. No more beer for you. And, you can spray yourself.”

“If you keep that up, I won’t be able to flip on my stomach comfortably, you know.” Steve reached up to the side of the pool, grabbing the spray sunscreen, and starting on his stomach and arms, while Tony kept going down on the popsicle.

He popped it out of his mouth loudly, making Steve’s breath catch. “Jealous?”

“Oh no, not in the least. Although, I do want a popsicle now.”

“Tough luck, this was the last one.” Tony shrugged. “Wanna share?”

“For the love of all things mighty, please do not answer that, Rogers,” Rhodey’s voice sounded behind them, followed by Pepper’s unmistakable laugh.

“You’re here,” Tony exclaimed, rushing to get up and managing to flip Steve into the water in the process.

“So much for not getting my hair wet,” Steve teased as he popped back up from underwater to Tony’s apologies. He got out of the pool, walking towards their guests, and wrapping his very wet and dripping form around Tony as he reached over his husband’s shoulder to shake Rhodey’s hand.

“Was that really necessary?” Tony whined playfully.

Steve placed a very wet and loud kiss on Tony’s cheek. “That’s for taking the last popsicle and torturing me with it.” He grabbed a towel from the back of a nearby lounger and offered to go help Rhodey unpack their bags from the car, kissing Pepper on the cheek as he walked by.

They walked to the car chit chatting about the weather and the drive, Steve apologizing for the things they had most likely overheard.

“Remind me to tell about our second year at MIT at dinner later. But, I did want to ask,” Rhodey started tentatively as they reached the car. “I hope you didn’t ask us to come over just for Tony’s sake, right?”

“I promise, that’s not it.” Steve reached in the trunk and grabbed Pepper’s bags. “I can’t promise I’ll be the best company all weekend, but it’s not as daunting as I thought it might be after all. I genuinely wanted to see everyone. I am happy you guys could come on such short notice.”

Rhodey grabbed his own bag and closed the trunk. “Good. We’re happy to get to see you and Tony too, but take whatever time you need. Anxiety is bad enough on its own, mix in grief and that’s a whole other ball game. Pepper and I have gone through just about every permutation of it with Tony over the years, we get it.” Steve just nodded as Rhodey pulled him in for a hug before they made their way back to the house.

Natasha and Bucky joined them a while later, Natasha apologizing profusely for the cake Bucky had insisted they bring.

“It’s really from May. She had us pick it up yesterday, just in case. Figured it’d be better to bring it along,” Bucky explained. Steve had smiled as he thanked Bucky for not eating the whole thing himself – they both had a soft spot for May’s Raspberry Cheesecake.

As everyone got ready to hit the pool before dinner, Steve excused himself and went to the balcony off their bedroom again, needing a few minutes alone. It was anything but quiet, as he heard the chatter coming from the backyard, but he didn’t mind. He was more than a little thankful for where life had brought him, how easily his and Tony’s friends had melded together into their own version of family. The happy sounds happening behind him were just one reminder of this.

Even with all those things to be grateful for, a part of him still longed for what he wouldn’t get to have. It hurt knowing their children wouldn’t get to know their grandparents – especially knowing just how excited Sarah had been for Steve to start a family someday. He had missed being able to call his mom whenever something great happened, and he knew that feeling wouldn’t go away for some time, if ever. He still itched to text her whenever he sold one of his paintings, signed on a new client, or when Tony did something ridiculous. She had been the first person on his mind when Natasha had offered to be their surrogate.

He missed her fiercely and knew the feeling would likely never leave him. As the day had progressed, he’d realized he was anxious leading up to it because part of him knew it was all going to be okay. That he would miss Sarah as he always did, but that he had family around him that would be there regardless of how he reacted. He had worried that whatever that reaction may be, or how they celebrated the day, would feel like the wrong thing. Like feeling okay and happy would disrespect one part of his life, but feeling sad would the other. He had no idea if he’d ever want a huge celebration for his birthday again, but he was confident that whatever he decided, his family would be behind him – with cake not too far away, just in case.

Steve let out a long, content sigh. He opened his eyes as he heard the sliding door to the balcony open and he spotted Bucky poking his head out.

“Mind if I join you for a sec?”

“Come on over.”

Bucky stepped on the balcony and Steve looked at him questioningly. He had a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses in his hands.

“Remember your 21st birthday?” Bucky asked as he sat down next to Steve.

“Fuck, I was so sick after that night,” Steve recalled, scrunching his face at the memory, making Bucky laugh.

“Oh, you were. Probably the only time you got that drunk. Other than…” Bucky let the thought trail, Steve knowing he meant after his mom had passed away. “I have no intentions of repeating that, don’t worry. But-“ he uncapped the bottle of tequila and poured two shots, “I thought at least one might do us both good, huh?”

“I forgot about that.”

“I almost did too, actually. Was going through some old pictures the other day and stumble on one from 5 years ago? You and me, and Sarah pouring us shots to celebrate your birthday. I know we didn’t get to do it the past couple of years but, maybe we can revive that tradition?”

Steve smiled as he picked up the glass. “I think she’d like that, yeah.”

Bucky picked up the second glass, raising it to clink it with Steve’s. “Happy birthday, bud.”

They drank the alcohol, Bucky commenting on how much smoother it was than what they used to drink. Steve picked up the bottle and filled their glasses again. Bucky gave him a soft, knowing smile as he picked it up again.

“To mom,” Steve said simply, raising his glass to clink with Bucky’s this time.

“To Sarah.”

They were both quiet after setting the empty glasses down. Bucky leaned against Steve, the blond letting his head fall on his shoulder.

“I miss her too, you know. All the time,” Bucky told Steve.

“Crazy to think it’s been two years, eh?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s snuggling my husband o’clock, and no one called me?” Tony joked as he joined them on the balcony. “I see Barnes found the good liquor cabinet downstairs?”

“Only the best for my best friend!”

Steve laughed loudly at that, making the other two men smile. “Nice try there, buddy.”

Tony plopped himself on Steve’s other side, grabbing his husband’s hand. “You good?”

“Yeah. I really am.”

Tony’s smile brightened. “Should I tell you what your present is now?”

Steve groaned. “I said no gifts-“

“Just listen to him, Steve. It’s not what you think,” Bucky chimed in, his voice soft.

“You’re in on this?”

“I just answered a couple of questions, that’s all.”

Steve looked at Tony, waiting for him to elaborate, suspicion apparent on his face.

“All I did was set up something that I think you’ll approve of, that’s all.” Tony squeezed Steve’s hand. “We set up a nursing scholarship in your mom’s name, under the Maria Stark Foundation umbrella. Pepper can explain the whole thing much better than I can, but we are hoping to be able to pay full scholarships for at least 2 students – one from Brooklyn where you guys went to high school, and the other from somewhere else in the country. It’ll be all set up by the fall, so it can be in place before the next round of college applications go in.”

Steve looked at Bucky and then back at Tony. He tried to come up with words, but nothing seemed enough. Steve let himself fall against Tony’s chest, wrapping his arms around his waist. “You’re amazing, you know that?” he finally managed to whisper.

“It was nothing really.” Tony placed a kiss in Steve’s hair, lingering there for a moment.

“It means the world to me.”

“Well, I’m starting to feel like a third wheel here, so I’ll go tend to the BBQ,” Bucky announced as he got up.

“Oh, actually, Rhodeybear is on that already. For some reason, he didn’t believe me when I said I cooked for you all week.”

Steve chuckled as he sat up. “I’ll send him pictures next time. But before we go back… Thank you. Both of you. I mean it when I say I couldn’t get through any of this without you.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart,” Tony whispered against Steve’s ear before kissing him.

Bucky just gave him a shrug but wrapped Steve in a tight hug as soon as he stood up. “What your husband said, Stevie. But now, food. I’m starving.”

* * *

“We should move here for the summer,” Steve murmured before letting out a relaxed sigh.

“That would be nice,” Tony agreed easily.

They had settled on a lounge chair that they’d moved so they could watch the fireworks from the backyard, while their friends walked to the beach to watch them. They’d had a lovely dinner and, much to Steve’s chagrin, he had suffered through a very offkey rendition of Happy Birthday. With the end of the day, tiredness setting in, Steve had started feeling a small wave of anxiety again, and his husband had noticed. He’d become a pro at noticing the signs. As everyone had gotten ready to leave, Tony had told their friends they would stay behind, much to Steve’s relief. He had been planning on going, since he still felt okay, but staying home definitely sounded better.

They had settled on the outdoor sofa by the fire for a bit until it got closer to the fireworks. They both enjoyed the quiet alone time, wrapped in each others’ arms. Tony had stolen one of Steve’s sweaters, the cool evening air settling in around them. Steve had grabbed one of the throws from the den when they moved to the lounger in the middle of the yard, the heat from the fire missing a bit more than they expected. Tony had sat himself first, Steve laying down over him only a bit awkwardly, given his size. He loved being held and cuddled when his mind decided to run amok, and Tony didn’t mind one bit. As much as Tony enjoyed being manhandled by the larger man, he also loved being able to take care of Steve in turn.

“You could paint, I could finally switch over the massage room to something else. Install FRIDAY to run the place,” Tony daydreamed. “We could spend our days by the pool.”

“Sounds dreamy. And perfect.”

Steve wrapped his arms tighter around Tony’s waist, burying his face in his neck. He breathed in deeply, utterly content right there in his husband’s arms.

“At some point, we’ll need to remodel one of the bedrooms upstairs too,” Tony added slowly.

Steve moved his head, resting his chin on Tony’s collarbone, just looking at him for a moment. “Can’t wait to get to do that with you,” he whispered, as if anyone else might hear them and wanting to keep this between them for as long as they could.

Tony brushed a strand of hair from Steve’s forehead, letting his fingers trail gently along the side of his face, his cheek, and his jaw. Steve hummed happily as he stretched to reach Tony’s lips, pressing his own against them softly. Tony pulled him in closer, parting his lips and inviting Steve’s tongue to explore. They kissed languidly, happy in their embrace, until the fireworks started.

Steve settled back against Tony’s chest, enjoying the red, white, and blue bursts of colour against the dark sky, the occasional gold sparkles thrown in for good measure. He felt the pull of sleep get to him before the fireworks were finished. He closed his eyes, letting the sounds lull him. He was vaguely aware of Tony pulling the throw tighter around them, his lips in his hair, and a whispered ‘Happy Birthday’ and ‘I love you’, before sleep truly took hold, both of them falling asleep easily, not waking until the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it <3 there is another already about half written too, I promise I won't make you wait too long again.


End file.
